Ugh, had a friend sleep with the window open all the time because "shivering when you sleep burns fat!"

That's it. I'm done.

Don't do eat no food all the always sometimes.

OH HELL NO. Ryan Lewis MOVED Queen Latifah FOR Madonna?! Um, NO.

I know Madonna is an "icon" but Mary's voice was on point and so much better than Madonna's.

It was enjoyable until Madonna came out. Fucking Madonna.

Thought this was kind of cheesey but the look on Queen L's face as she said that the couples were married- oh my goodness, pure joy. She looked so excited and proud and happy, it almost made me cry. If someone has a gif or even screenshot, that was just amazing.

Do you take a cruise ship to work?

Relevant:

I love her, but sometimes I wonder how much of her real girl charm is a sham. Her genuine response to this - and her inability to let it go, continuing to tell the reporter she's a terrible person - makes me feel like her personality is completely legit. That wasn't the response of someone putting on a show, that…

"It's like, past mad. It's this weird other emotion. Mad isn't it."

I hate to break it to you, but I think Greek yogurt has already happened.

I once accidentally stood in back of a mannequin because I thought he was someone in line.

It's amazing how much weddings bring out the snottiness in people, from all angles. If you elope, you're selfish, but if you spend money on a wedding, you're a stupid piece of shit. If you have a wedding without spending a fuckton of money, then you're not properly accommodating your guests, and you may as well have…

Heaven fucking forbid you not provide enough booze to demolish livers for free at weddings! Ugh, my Catholic family always flipped their shit if there was a cash bar at a wedding. Heaven forbid the wedding guests are sober(ish).

Cue the "Well, my wedding only cost $5, with charitable donations being the only accepted gifts, and had handmade vegan treats provided by my former Buddhist nun mother who taught me money wasn't important unlike the rest of you spendaholics, aren't you all ashamed of yourselves for not caring about the things I do"…

@fuckingracheltice

I was once told by a supervision that pregnant women got themselves pregnant and shouldn't be given any maternity leave.

We don't wanna provide birth control: THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE! OUR MOST IMPORTANT RESOURCE!