Pat McAfee is rolling in his grave. What kind of standard Caucasian high-five was that?

An unfortunate situation for sure, but the thing to remember is that this situation almost surely did not escalate to this point overnight. He has likely been officially advised many many times by the township that he needs to register the vehicles, get them inside, or get rid of them.

Die-hard Bengals fan. I’ve never particularly cared for Dalton. It’s hard to describe, but when you watch him play you can sense his frailty. Even when it looks like he’s dominating you can feel that he’s got only a very tenuous grasp on it and that disaster is lurking around every corner. It’s also crystal fucking…

How about move it to a different fucking town you clods? It’s not like Ocean City has any kind of historical significance to the stance community. Move it 50 miles down the highway to somewhere where the police don’t give a shit and the town will embrace the business you bring with you. Clearly Ocean City has no…

Literally shaking even?

No jokes allowed. Jalopnik is serious business.

NASCAR’s highest level will go back to a sea of the same: nearly all white men.

There is no way in fuck Tom Savage had a worse day than Andy Dalton. I’d have to look it up, but for a QB playing a full 4 quarters of regular season football that has to be in the top 10 worst performances post-2000. I’m trying to think of any performance I’ve seen that’s worse.

At some point we become adults and the bullshit we’re fed as children is met in harsh contrast to the realities of life. At what point do you stop blaming your parents and society for never becoming the type of person you think you ought to be?

How did I wind up an accomplished 30-year-old woman who found it easier to get drunk and give in to unwanted sex than to walk out of a bad date?

I would buy these just for the laughs. Nothing screams JDM street cred like a yellow S2000 with Cinnamoroll tires.

This is the only thing that would prevent me from getting an F430 or Gallardo once I can afford one. I hate social interaction with strangers. It makes me clammy and I always come off as someone with borderline Asperger’s (and then think of 20 things I should’ve said instead once the conversation is over). No supercar…

I’m a big fan of watching you get fucked by other people. Wanna fuck?

Who hacks into someone’s account (apparently for a fucking month) to slide into a pornstar’s DMs? If I didn’t know better I’d say that was complete and utter bullshit.

CP. It’s a decent price, but not a killer deal by any means and therefor not even worth the initial response to gauge if it’s a scam. For what it’s worth though it does look remarkably clean for the amount of mileage. The seat bolsters especially are in very good shape and that has to be a new top.

Thank you. To be honest I’ve been pretty confused about the differences myself. Some places say one thing, some say something completely different. I have two of them and I don’t even know.

How fucking hard is it to make a cheap electric car that looks like a car and not a damn washing machine? So frustrating. Have they learned nothing? The range is shite as well. My daily commute is a mile so I’m certainly not buying an electric vehicle for that and I’m never going to buy anything that gives me range…

You’re wrong. It exposes the moral compass of NFL fans not NFL executives. The moral compass of NFL executives has always been perfectly clear: if it don’t make dollars it don’t make sense. People on the other hand will bitch and moan about guys like Joe Mixon, Adrian Peterson, and Ray Rice (what is it with running…

Why it always Jordan Taylor?  

That’s me in church league softball except on the way to the ball I’d fall down, the ball would bounce twice off the fence, somehow hit me in the dick, and then still have enough momentum to carry it back over the wall.