I think a much more productive venture would be imagining what modern sports cars would look like if the designers didn’t have to design within all of that safety shit. Pop-ups would still be a thing sure, but there are other design elements that got the axe as well. Show me that so that we can all argue back and…

Can we discuss how insanely stupid and puritanical it is to try and age gate this shit at this point? If a parent is really adamant about their child not having access to pornography then here’s a helpful list of things they should restrict their child from having:

I’m white and what the fuck is a bread machine? I thought that shit just came from the store. Upper class whites are making their own bread now? And giving away a machine that makes it? Shit.

I’m on Zeke’s side here. If it’s true even law enforcement says there’s not enough evidence to bring charges. If it’s false then he’s convinced law enforcement only to be punished by a second body that acts with impunity and is beholden to no one. The threshold has been lowered from proving his guilt beyond a…

If Tom Brady, James Harrison, and Vontaze Burfict will tell you anything it’s that the NFL has absolutely no problem picking its own winners and losers regardless of evidence (or lack thereof).

They’re driving around LA, not the Nurburgring and not a drag strip. This is a taxi company.

Where is my math wrong?

Holy fuck that last one. To be fair that was 1% Chiefs and 99% definitely other shit going on that didn’t involve the Chiefs and probably involved his wife fucking another dude (or the Chiefs). Still though, shit.

So I’m gonna be that guy and say that I really hope he sits out. That’s a two-fold, zero-hope wish. 1) I’m a Bengals fan and 2) the only guy in my fantasy league with a vague prayer of beating me drafted Le’Veon Bell.

Dude, if I were going through that the last thing I would want is someone expressing their empathy for my situation by being nice to a football team that happens to play in my city. You’re concern-trolling and it’s stupid and unnecessary. It’s a football team, not the city itself and he even had a chance to shit on…

Good. Seriously fuck the media. She’s exactly right. There’s a huge difference between reporting what’s happening and being abusive and for the most part they blissfully cross that line to the point of almost being frightening. Like I was watching The Weather Channel and I swear the reporter was getting hard when his…

No way! Big wings are awesome. That shouldn’t be a confession so much an admission of your own coolness.

I think my favorite part of the Packer-Seahawks clip is that it says “Injury Timeout” before he even hits the ground. They just knew.

The most unrealistic part of this clip is the Browns being in the Super Bowl.

You can’t be the NFL’s biggest star if you can’t throw a ball Tim Tebow.

Still ugly, so get fucked BMW.

Except I’m pretty sure he’s already done that this offseason in training camp.

Mine is about to get a heart transplant. Made it 220,000 miles on the old one and original turbo (which looking back maybe the reason it’s getting a heart transplant in the first place, but better not to think too deeply into that).

That is the stuff of dreams my friend. I’m sure you don’t need to be told this, but never let it go. There’s something special about these cars.

Seems like a lifetime ago now.