I wear your granddad's clothes. I look incredible.

Ah, but is there a golden shower?





SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!

I have spent a total of 3 weeks of my life in St. Petersburg, which obviously makes me an expert on All Things St. Petersburg. This guy's totally legit. Text him.

I don't know half of the people on TweetBeat today....

I always wondered why I was evil and slutty.

He would have on the most astonishing guests. He did shows about homosexuality at a time when it was nearly impossible for people to come out of the closet. He had on Madalyn Murray O'Hair, Louis Farrakhan, Marilyn Manson... Even if you didn't agree with the person it was always interesting.

For those of you who didn't click on the link to read Gloria Steinem's quote regarding Miley Cyrus. Because it is SO. FUCKING. GOOD.

Nudity was not the problem.

So you can be next to; the un-hygienic Gwynneth Paltrow, the media whore Kim Kardashian and her keeper, and Andre Leon Talley wearing stuff that was purged from Bea Arthur's wardrobe before the third season of Maude? FTS. The Met Gulag is a joke on those who feel it is society at its must be seen best.

The travesty of it all! Why just the other day, Jeeves was telling me the prices of top hats and monocles have gone up as well. They'll price us out of house and second home!

One can make jokes about this, but I find the joking to simply be a way to not cry. When I think about the poverty in this country, and the "middle class" which has turned into a term used to pacify American's into believing that they shouldn't complain, and then I see something like this, my blood reddens with a…

Sounds like now they're in the market for a new social media expert! I'm available for a mere $24.95 a tweet— or $124.95 for the deluxe package that includes common sense and respect for basic humanity.

Haha, when I was working in offices I always said my main goal is to have a job I don't hate going to every morning. If I had that, I was content.

Damn it, Kinja.

I'd also like to offer another Lady Type up for discussion: those of us who are opting out of having kids by choice, not because we're too focused on our careers to pop out babies or whatever the stereotype is. Some of us just don't care. We'd rather focus on working hard, building solid relationships with the people…

Do you think "Princess Syndrome" is merely having too many girls in movies? Because that's the only way your comment makes sense - if you truly believe that emphasis on a female automatically means they're forcing "Princess Syndrome" on girls.

It took until this moment for me to realize that To Make You Feel My Love is not a Garth Brooks song. I feel deep shame. I am no better than all of those people who think the Counting Crows sing Big Yellow Taxi.

If I saw him regularly, I would greet him every time with stories about my adventures with black men.

Rock-hard vaginas? They're more common than you'd expect...