I wish I had half of Iridescent Jeans Lady's confidence.

I am comfortable with this Final Verdict. I had the same results.

It's funny because just the other day, my best friend, who is half-Arab and half-Irish, asked another friend of ours, "What are you a mix of?", and it wasn't a big deal. Somehow, asking the question that way sounds better than the suspicious, nervous-sounding, "What are you?"

I am holding my breath waiting for someone to lose their shit and start complaining that Barbie has to be skinny. Skinny and pretty! Inhumanly proportioned and skinny and pretty!

I have never photographed well. There is a full two-year gap that is undocumented from my teenage years because I would not allow myself to be photographed. I just didn't want to deal with it. I also completely lost my shit on my best friend recently because she bullied me into being in a snapshot with her and then…

I want to go to there.

My favorite nickname ever came from my ex: Munchkin. Of course, he also called me Bitch Dickerson. No idea.

Like my friend Johnny Lee Davenport said, "Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck."