Well, you see, that’s why this article has other paragraphs.

Bible 101 on marriage:

Slaves did not lose their dignity because the government allowed them to be enslaved. My employees did not lose their dignity because I kept trying to show them my dick and putting my pubic hairs on their drinks. If we’re being honest with each other, I’m not sure what the word dignity means. What’s happening, again?…

Do you guys ever wonder what it’s like to be on the wrong side of history? Like how embarrassing the four dissenting justices are going to be to their grandchildren (if they aren’t already?)

Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

I’m not sure mine is negging either, so I will follow your lead.

I honestly think even your analogy shows how wrong you are. When you walk down the street, you expect there to be bumps and edges and the possibility of tripping and skinning something, but ultimately walking it off. It’s a street, not a rugged mountain path. Thousands of people make it down it every day. A reasonable…

I once got hit on by a nerdy guy who told me that in the Middle Ages, wide-set teeth were seen as a sign of a lascivious nature. I responded with “Yeah, that’s in the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales, isn’t it?” And he mumbled something and moved away. Apparently, he hadn’t actually read the source material and it put…

Ooh. I was at a bar in my ex’s hometown, and he and his brother had wandered off and left me sitting by myself. Enter random 50something creeper. “You shouldn’t wear glasses,” he says, “it’s like you’re saying, ‘I’m smart, fuck you’.” I pause. Do the confused puppy head tilt. “But I am smart. Fuck you.” And I got up…

“You probably shouldn’t wear that if you’re not going to put out. It sends the wrong message. You’re lucky I’m a nice guy.”

I had no idea where to go with that. He went on to tell me that I met almost every specification that he had for a wife, but he was worried about my weight. My body looked ok now but I probably wouldn’t bounce back after the children.

I ended up drinking my weight in his booze. And I am a fat lady.

Again? Really? The argument is not, nor should ever be, less CG or more CG. The argument should be for good directing. Did the CG take you out of Ex Machina? Gravity? Interstellar? Pacific Rim? Lincoln? Cold Mountain? Every single movie that takes place in space, the distant past, the far future? Of course not. All…

In my fantasy, Raven is the hostess, and banishes rude patrons into a garbage portal. Azerath metrion zinthos!

Jamie Allmeyer’s story reminds me of my checkered history of ordering drinks in Utah. There’s the time I was told the wine special was “peanut gringo.” There’s the time my wife and I ordered two margaritas and had four individual glasses delivered to our table (Cuz, y’know, we each wanted two margaritas a piece. At…

“Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am!? Do you have a minute to discuss ethics in gaming journalism?” MA’AM?!?”

I can't even re-home my fucking dog.

And yet, some pundits (guess which gender) are complaining not about critics casting aspersions on the motivations of Huma Abedin or Sydney Leathers, but about critics "demonizing heterosexual male sexuality." I mean, boys will be boys, right? They can't help themselves. Give them access to toy guns, and they'll play…

Well, it's not like they can just up and move to a libertarian wonderland. Plane tickets to Somalia are expensive!