I need to open my own life coaching business in LA where I just give “real life advice” to these weirdos. 

He needs to just open some sort of celebrity dance studio so he could parlay that into a Dance Moms type reality show. Dance Dad. Something like that. Figure your shit out, Federline. 

My brother worked at Starbucks for a while and they provide health and 401k and some educational help. So Starbucks is probably too good for these guys. I remember reading that book Nickel & Dimed about getting by on minimum wage jobs and those chain maid companies seemed to be the worst. Like Merry Maids. Overworked,…

That is a good point. Disney did a number on them without a doubt but I also think he looks for the vulnerable younger pretty girls. 

I’m not sure about all of them and I think he’s fairly clever about keeping relationships a secret until they’re legal but he certainly likes the young girls. And many of the young girls seem to struggle with addiction either during or after. He also went on Howard Stern and said he took Mandy Moore’s virginity and I…

Yeah, he squicks me out in a major way. Plus, between Mischa, Lohan and now Demi, I worry that he might not be the most effective sober coach out there. Perhaps he’s not the healthiest person to remain in her life?

I was going to say, I’m 42 and I’m like “Gurl, no. No. You’re not 40"

Very true! But I am amazed but how often I try to introduce my kids to something I loved dearly as a child and they’re like “Meh” - like the original Ghostbusters. They fail to find the humor in it. So I was pleased that they found Weird Al to be as funny as I did/do.

Yes, they love Weird Al. And then I’ve had to download some of the “original” songs so they can do a compare and contrast of Eat It and Beat It. Or Yoda and Lola. 

A lot of Weezer is great with kids. Pork & Beans and then Island in the Sun were two favorites.

We bought all of the They Might Be Giants kids albums and then those were a gateway to their regular stuff. So my kids are 10 & 6 but still love Flood an Apollo 18.

That is the sort of thing that would make Mark Burnett beat her up - even if she is only 14. 

You really can’t underestimate the importance noticing the tiny details while engaging in fisticuffs.

That is an incredible deal and I will be sure to tell Tom Arnold to stay away from you or at the very least I’ll ask him to only verbally spar with you if necessary.

Or possibly a Victoria Secret PINK sweatshirt or something. So he already felt weird since he left the house wearing sorority clothes. 

I’m going to take the capitalization of Pink to take it that Burnett was wearing a Thomas Pink shirt rather than just a “pink shirt” and for some reason that amuses me more. Knowing that somehow Tom Arnold recognized the shirt for it’s superior workmanship and clean lines. Or perhaps that mid-struggle Burnett yelled…

I liked her and then I read her book and I was like “Good lord this lady.” it was just boring and she seemed so pleased with herself and I started disliking her then. 

I think that some of these guys also get angry that you’re not fuckable to them. Like how dare you walk around not being attractive to them and yet you’re still successful! How DARE you not be young and hot and giggly. What on earth?!

They both look like goldfish. 

I feel like the eggs would make me fart and the cheese would add to that and also perhaps give me the runs. The asparagus makes me pee smell. This isn’t a great diet for the nose. 

True, when I look at my diet during my busiest time of the year, it’s not great. But that being said, the excessive vitamin use seems problematic.