So much of it really is body type and genetics. I’m lucky in the sense that I have a flat stomach without trying. I mean, I don’t have a six pack or anything but my stomach is flat. I’m very short. I don’t eat a ton of food and I work out. That’s always helped. I gain weight in my face and my arms and legs. I remember…

PBS was like “There was nothing quotable” - Wha?

It really is the best thing to do. If not the exact ring, just ask about styles. My husband did not ask and to be honest, I don’t like it. And to be honest, he spent more than he should have. It’s a small diamond in a platinum setting. The diamond catches on everything. I would have honestly been fine with another…

This is how I feel about this movie:

He was in Hair - how can anyone who was in the musical Hair be a republican now?

I didn’t get it then, I don’t get it now. Two years from now I will say the same things about Chewbacca Mom. I. Don’t. Get. It.

I sometimes wonder if the people read all of the books in the franchise before making a movie.

I mean, honestly, genetics? WTF is she talking about in that third book. Hot mess.

That’s how I felt with the books. The first two were OK. Not great but not terrible. By the last book I was like “What is this shit?” and wanted to throw them across the room.

Granted, I still have two more eps but I’ve found Winona Ryder to be way over the top in her portrayal. She seems to be massively overacting when no one else is. There’s a scene where she’s flashing back to her son drawing a photo with green fireballs and her overacting is so bizarre that the whole time I was like “Is…

I feel redeemed about never listening to the specials now.

I’m going to release my own collection of shitty books under the pen name “Stephanie Meyer” and confuse people into buying them. Please look for my first book about a Chupacabra hiding in the CIA, hoping to find love, but instead of love he finds - danger.

I have a weird mental issue where I can not understand any part of a Kardashian feud. A co-worker even sketched out the whole Rob Kardashian/Blac Chyna/Kim feud on a piece of paper so I could better understand and my brain just shuts off similar to how it stops working when a waiter goes over the night’s specials. I…

I loved: “I wouldn’t be your Veep if there were a grassy knoll full of Jodie Foster fans in the front row at your inauguration.”

It replaces my previous favorite line of: “That’s like trying to use a croissant as a f—ing dildo. Let me be more clear: it doesn’t do the job, and it makes a fucking mess.”

Agreed. I feel like we can both add “Style Expert” to our titles.

Agreed. I feel like we can both add “Style Expert” to our titles.

Very true! They might be called something slightly different because I think they make different shoes for their outlets than what you’d find in a store but you can certainly find a nice pointy heel in the outlet and get it super cheap.

Very true! They might be called something slightly different because I think they make different shoes for their…

I like the Nine West Flax heel. I have it in three colors. It’s only $69 on Zappos. I used to buy a ton of Nine West shoes and then gave up on them and started buying nicer brands but honestly the slightly more expensive shoes didn’t last any longer. Plus, I know I’m a 7 in Nine West so ordering online is easier. I…

I like the Nine West Flax heel. I have it in three colors. It’s only $69 on Zappos. I used to buy a ton of Nine West…

It is very good to know I'm not alone in these feelings.

That’s very good. My therapist has been very awesome about these feelings and it helps. Motherhood very often feels like the only job where you can’t figure out if you suck at it until you start the job and at that point, you can’t really quit. You’re just stuck doing the terrible job knowing that they’re going to…

Yep. I once told a friend that I resent my kids for how trapped I feel in my life and she was horrified. Just horrified.