I once had a coworker who had spent her whole life living in the same tiny town tell me that her kids loved the "kwes-a-dill-as" on the school lunch menu. I had no idea what she meant until she showed me the menu, which listed quesadillas.

My middle sister did this to our youngest. The only problem was that the youngest was two at the time, and not really into writing her name all over the walls just yet.

I did that for an Econ class in college. I had quit attending the class, and for some reason, thought that the exam was scheduled for Tuesday, but it had been on Monday. I emailed the professor and said that I'd missed it due to a suspected kidney infection, then went to health services and claimed I had the symptoms.…

Cosby voice: I love pudding...my crotch in women's faces.

I like you. Let's be friends.

It's "funny" that you say that. I was born in 1979, long after polio was a real risk in my community, but when I was growing up, my mother and grandmothers still wouldn't let me swim in the creek near our house because that was how you got polio. I've never really thought before about the reasons that they still…

Oh, and another friend had a celebrity encounter in Vegas years ago. She was there for a business trip, so she only packed one "going out" dress. The first night she was there, she went out and wore the dress. While she was out, she saw Vince Vaughn in the same club. The next night, she went out again, wearing the…

So this story isn't my own; it happened to a friend of a friend, but I make her tell it every time I see her, so I've sort of taken ownership of it. A couple years ago, FoaF was in Vegas and happened to be playing at the same table as Peter Dinklage. Throughout the evening, they were chatting sociably, and she said he…

I'd like to pretend I need workout pants, but really what I need are "lay around on my ass" pants. I bet they're pretty good for that purpose too, though.

Boooo! I don't love the prices at Piperlime, but it's the only Gap brand I ever want to spend my credit card rewards on these days. Gap and Banana clothes have gotten just aggressively hideous. Looks like it's time to switch rewards cards.

Hers actually curl really nicely. I've seen when she leaves them, and they look fine. Plus, she has kind of an asymmetric cut, so she straightens the shorter hair around her face, not just the part that falls over her forehead. It's sort of the curly version of Kate Gosselin's cut, if that makes any sense.

A girl I went to high school with STILL does this. Her hair is naturally curly, so she straightens just the bangs. She also has skunky highlights. I don't get it.

Was everything served....with CLUB SAUCE?

I've told this story on here before, but when I was younger, a family friend had a set of boy/girl twins. She was visiting us with the babies, and off-handedly mentioned that they were going to have them tested to see if they were identical. Little 9-year old Edith was like, "Uhh, let me help you out with that:…

They really do. So goofy, and yet so soulful. Without fail, I smile every time I see one.

Ooh, I love posting pics of my wiener online!

As the parent of a special needs kiddo with a similar condition, I actually don't have much sympathy for these people. It would have been so easy to avoid this situation by bringing her carseat, and much safer, too.

hahaha! Yes,the anticipation of the pain of whatever they would do to it was a good part of the reason I didn't go. The actual injury itself didn't really hurt (probably not a great sign), but I knew that stitches or cauterization would be unpleasant, and whatever they would use to disinfect would be horrendous.…

Haha, my bitch of an ex-sister-in-law once got me an XL pair of flannel snowman pajamas once. I had gained a couple pounds, but was still about 120, and five feet tall. I took them back to Sam's Club, where she bought them (!) and exchanged them for a ginormous roll of aluminum foil. I didn't buy aluminum for for…

Eeks! I just did that to my thumb a couple months ago, moments after my husband told me to use the guard and I told him, "Oh, pishposh, I don't need no stinkin' finger guards!" I didn't bother going to the ER, but I probably should have. Now I have a lovely dent along the side of my thumb where it hasn't grown back…