I think the only part on which we disagree is putting anything about a gift in your invite/e-mail/whatever — you never mention it. If you expect a gift from people just because you're getting married, then you're sort of an asshole already. A wedding is supposed to be a fun celebration, not a gift grab, and I don't…

I felt like our engagement was one giant Christmas — it was so great. I couldn't tell you if someone didn't get us a gift; I just happen to remember who did because I was grateful. Having no expectation of gifts (even though, well, you know you're getting them) just made it fantastic. And writing thank-you cards kinda…

If the couple getting married loves you enough, all they want is to have you there and no gift. Your gift is digging into your bank account for a plane ticket and showing up. That's it. If they don't understand that, rethink the friendship.

THEY ENCLOSED AN ENVELOPE FOR MONEY??????

Unfriend, defriend, whatever. Ew. Good for you for not going.

"Word of mouth" is certainly different these days, and I count Google as "word of mouth." It really isn't hard. The only place it's appropriate is on an insert, in a shower invitation, if she's not throwing it herself.

You absolutely do not put any mention of a gift ANYWHERE on an invite or save-the-date. That is beyond tacky. If you want to put it somewhere low on your wedding website, fine. NOT ON THE INVITE. NOT ON A SAVE-THE-DATE. It is OK to have an insert in a shower invitation if you are not throwing your own shower (which,…

Fair enough. Apologies if I unfairly maligned you there.

That is absolutely brilliant. And you know what? If I got you one of those gift cards and knew you actually got some use from that money, I'd be thrilled! :)

Very well said.

I love you.

You are. Gifts aren't actually required for anything. And you certainly don't have to get a gift for every goddamn wedding event. One shower gift is generous and perfectly acceptable. (Just make sure you reply whether you're going or not to either one — that's all that is required.)

I did Macy's, Crate and Barrel, and Target. Crate and Barrel had the best policies and the least hassle for gift-givers. Target would discontinue or stop carrying something and just delete it off the registry without notice, so it got a little weird (Mom: "I THOUGHT YOU REGISTERED FOR A TOASTER!!!! IT'S GOOOOONE!"),…

I give cash or gift cards for everything, even baby showers. Why? Because all those (supposedly) cute baby items will be worn once, thrown up on, and forgotten/grown out of/recognized as too damn fussy to use, but diapers will be needed for a looooong time.

And frankly, we love putting actual cash in the cards instead…

Holy shit, thank you.

All of this.

NO. No, no, no. If you can't afford the wedding, don't fucking have one. Easy.

Registries are totally weird, but my mother insisted I create one. Old people love it, so whatever. But YES ON THE ICE CREAM MAKER!!!

Anyone who registers for anything still gets off-registry gifts. It's just what people do. But it's a total first-world problem: "All these people gave me this crappy gift and now I have so many of them!" I got three blenders at my bridal shower (from the registry but it hadn't updated quickly enough). You know what I…

"specific economics aside, no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them."

This is my husband, completely and entirely, with absolutely everything in our house.