+10 “o”s in Burns.

(He reportedly might also see some time at first base, after rookie Dom Smith struggled there last year.)

- The trailer for the new Star Wars.

Get that man some titty milk, STAT.

For christ’s sake, this is not “putting it in a major key”. This is “entirely changing the chord sequence and the melody”. Who’d have thought you could make a good song bad by doing that? 

Um...I don’t believe there are any minor chords in “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” It’s chromatic as hell, but it’s out of E major ad every chord is a major (E/A/G/C).

It gets even crazier: The Mannings have a ONE HUNDRED PERCENT winning percentage in games where their teams have scored more than Brady’s Patriots.

really, it’s mostly just Brady, Garoppolo, and Julian Edelman

I hate participation trophies because rewards should be based on merit.

“There ain’t no North Pole, thus there ain’t no Christmas”

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

You forgot about his flapping head

“in University” and “Kraft Dinner” outs Nicholas as a low-down, shifty-eyed, Labatt-drinking Canuck.

*Mother starts to open gift*
Mother: “What the hell is this?”
Me: “It’s Smeg, ma!”

Now all we need is the article on all the things people shoved up their asses this year and 2017 will be complete!

+3-1 Force Choke

There’s a perfectly innocent explanation for this whole situation: he just wanted to ask Durant if he knew how to get to Temecula.

Bobby NEWpoooort...

Gronk only pawn in game of life.

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.