*gently pushes O-lineman aside, breaks Andrew Luck’s spine*

*taps hoof loudly, snorts to get your attention*

Can we talk about the absurdity of unfurling a field-sized flag for a fucking regular-season game? Christ, the NFL has the most toxic brand of patriotism.

He’s a dick so who cares.

Zach Hample

Durant heard that Jackson was winning the argument so he’s on his side now.

If I like the Danzig song, will I like this movie as well?

The Mad Poop-ah! Look out!

Bob’s Burgers did it

not...anyone, really, with an understanding of what privilege is.

Perhaps while they are in DC, they can stop by a science museum and finally find out how magnets work.

obligatory

There is a single tear running down his right cheek. Can confirm, I am The Edges’s jedi rattail.

“We has addressed the matter.”

It’s a Category √-1!

I have to admit, when I saw this morning that Alex Smith had thrown for 368 yards I was really trying to figure out how he managed 125 completions in one game.

If I could go back in time and be any historical figure, I would totally be Michael Anthony. All I would have to do is sing the high parts, play right there in the pocket, do copious amounts of cocaine and get fucking laid.

Is this your first time in a Star Wars internet discussion since 2014? Because, no, you’re not alone.

I’m a big ol’ moron who loves DLR-era Van Halen and gives them more serious, critical thought that they probably deserve. That said, Women and Children First is a secret masterpiece and maybe my favorite album of theirs.

*“Christmastime is Here” plays on food court PA*