I started to watch this and then I remembered that I don’t hate myself that much yet.

Perfect.

“I am Groot.”

The biggest thing Lance taught me today was that he apparently played for the Cardinals at one point.

...right.

I think I saw those signs on TV once.

“Hello? Hello? I can’t hear you, who is this? HAAAAAA, gotcha. Leave a message after the beep.”

Just wait until Greg Louganis finds out about this.

I still think he’s going to make it big. And by big I mean to a team that plays on the full court, not the shrinky dink sideways courts.

This is going to be the final piece of sabotage that keeps the Browns out of contention?

Footsie?

Was that after He just left Chicago?

I thought Johnson was termed out already.

Okay, so are you ready for the punchline?

I guess it took getting into the playoffs but the Cavs are finally starting to save Lebron some minutes.

Would that mean collectively, they would all cut off their left nipple? Or like, they could make an intern do it or something?

He grounded out for your sins.

The top basketball shoes that are selling today are under $150—so the price seems way out of balance what with what’s normal here.

Wait, am I a hipster?

Not a bad analogy.