Orangutan hipster photoshop contest: GO!

Intellectual and creative enrichment for an intelligent creature trapped in a cage all night? I'm for it.

One of these things is not like the others. Can you spot it?

How is my 330lb. pimp going to fit through that windshield?

Obesity specialist Dr. Jean Marc Catheline has to mention the U.S. twice in as many sentences to describe France's obesity gains.

If you wear prescription-less glasses, little fedoras and your sisters jeans take note: that's the kind of man PBR was brewed for; not you.

SIX average bloggers?! I think you fudged the numbers there a bit...

Step one: Build car

Here's a theory: slaves.

I know what they do to criminals in Australia.

If someone speaks your gamertag in vain, will you forgive them?

I don't know how I was able to lock up Edfire on XBL but had to go with EF+lucky sevens on Gawker. Where are you, other Edfire? Do you have a kick ass Kotaku star like me? No? Then stop calling yourself Edfire!

Damn it, I just switched my pack a day habit from cigarettes...

It's also really acidic...

American Version: Bank President Takes Responsibility for Securities Losses; Takes $50 Million Retirement Package

The Dead Island Trailer: The Book.

I get a Grand Slam every time I'm in the city.

My current Xbox renders my avatar just fine...

Keep on kickin' ass!

Compared to the thinking of Iranian leadership, 1766 is downright futuristic.