Look at the blue colored sections and tell me this isn’t a racist about to teach you “the truth about coronavirus”

I started doing this when my kids were infants and would grab them off the front when I was carrying them. Didn’t realize I was being a douche. 

Why would you lie about being the best at exercising?

I, too, fell victim to the Siren’s Song of the Triple Stack McMuffin. I shared with McDonalds’ food scientists the sin of hubris, by thinking a better breakfast sandwich could be achieved by adding more.
I was wrong.
The most glaring error for me was the construction, They add a slice of cheese between two sausage…

I came here for the Papa John references. Thank you. 

You can go to jail for it.

Kevin, I hope you warned your parents this would be published.

Wait. Rich people are Job Creators. And Bezos is the richest person. So, Bezos creates the most jobs.
Your argument is now invalid.

Is this like those aprons they give you at the dentist when you get your teeth x-rayed? I really just want them to keep that on me the whole visit.

Is this like those aprons they give you at the dentist when you get your teeth x-rayed? I really just want them to…

I hope the govt doesn’t waste those alien alloys developing the laser pistol and instead saves up for the Ghost Armor.

National Taco Day... On a Wednesday? This country really is falling apart.

Typical Jalopnik, always trying Hydrosplain things.

• Super Motherload
  

Did you pay for it, or is this a sponsored post?

Am I crazy, or is this the same model photoshopped to a different ethnicity?

Am I crazy, or is this the same model photoshopped to a different ethnicity?

CD Projeckt Red would never give me up, and never let me down.

Point: Most of the free apps sucked

Counter-Point: Knights of the Old Republic

You could just slide the cash through the dog door and cue up an old movie to tell the delivery guy, “Keep the change, you filthy animal.”

Almond Extract.

Kakasana is the Sanskrit name for the crow pose.