Much like Howard himself, the 100% polyester jerseys are guaranteed to never add a new wrinkle.

I thought Mercury Morris was the only Dolphin who popped his cork once a year?

The general lack of interest in badminton means that even something out of the ordinary like this will only cause a small racket.

Whitlock is fat! LOL. Owned.

I mean, he certainly has the "broad" part down.

You can tell how skeptical the announcer was. He had no idea this clip would become a highlight, which is why he started by discussing Todd Hamilton's preferred sex position.

pictured: every ESPN employee upon seeing a message from the president in their inbox.

I've read "Those Guys Have All the Fun" and trust me, John, you do not want to wipe any towel from that studio on your face.

Because of all the cutbacks at ESPN, they were forced to repurpose The Budweiser Hot Seat.

For the lifetime achievement category.

Even with these pampers I'm wearing

Oh come on. That thing can't weigh more than 25 pounds. How is it big enough to use that pen?

What a coincidence, Lane Kiffin just did too.

And yet no one complains about Brigham Young, a school that's outspokenly for-prophet.

If this guy wants to keep Woods from destruction, he'd better pick a new sport.

The article notes that the list of wrestlers is subject to change, so be sure to bring some quarters to donate.

Speak for yourself, Glasses. My fake orgasms have single-handedly kept the Dial ® hand soap people in business.

Looks like CVS doesn't have any trouble putting this bomb on display.

In keeping the new name, the clown appears to have an apparatus built for ensnaring hookers.

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