Like he cares about helping people avoid excessive force. Hell, I saw 3 G’s just reading his name.

A confused Nassar was later quoted as saying.

“If anyone is looking for a good lawyer, I would strongly suggest that you don’t retain the services of Michael Cohen!”

The towel was immediately crushed out of the park for a grand slam.

Emmit: Thongs and prayers in your tine of molting, Richie.

Emmit: And if you need a ballpearer I’m here for you. I’d carry that basket all the way to the esophagus.

Why do you liberals always have to bring Trump into everything?

Sir, this is our most... modestly-priced receptacle.

You’ll be able to tell how much he loved his dad by how many times he says the N-word during the eulogy.

Makes you wonder what he could have possibly done to make a funeral home employee feel “incredibly uncomfortable”

and Daniel should know that when you go pointing fingers, you’ll have three-and-a-half pointing back at you.

That’s quite the switch for AP.

UPDATE: The NFL has fined Ramsey for targeting defenseless players.

You can put literally anything before influencer and I’ll hate them.

I tried to hail a cab today and I accidentally picked off a Christian Hackenberg pass.

Obligatory:

As a fulltime parody song writer, this is quite the endorsement. 

Seeing as he has a Wells Fargo account, they probably took his house instead.

Much like some of their front office, it appears these issues were hiding in plain sight.

not knowing all the words, i suspect.