Before today most of America didn't know who the Brown's head coach was. Hell, halfway through the interview Haslam still hadn't figured out who the owner was.

I don't know how they do it in the Alps, but in Lake Tahoe you can't get a "medically induced coma" without a club card.

Maybe why you're a former UPS employee?

Typically a brawl of that magnitude is reserved for the softball diamond.

Nobody makes me cry my own blood. Nobody!

If anybody's an authority on big slabs of dough, it's the guy to Lynch's left.

So that's what it's like to be Sasha Grey.

In Nisbett's defense, he probably thought "over-18" referred to handicap. Just ask the kids, they were getting at least a stroke a hole.

To be fair, they likely didn't see who won the game. Not because of the snow, because they're Eagles fans.

I guess for the same reason that rich people fly to Germany to pick up their new Benz instead of driving down to Ashley Schaefer's?

Dad?

There's nothing poor Rudy could have done.

All I want in life is to be retrospectively given a nickname due to my son's athletic ability.

The saddest part of the .gif is the guy back left peepin' Cuban's moves and nodding approvingly.

That guy's tongue single-handedly ruined my Saturday.

"That Hinrich kid sure has a great smile." - Gary Busey

Harkens back to my Camp Anawanna days.

"If I put in front of you a big bottle of Valium, a bottle of acetaminophen, and a bottle of steroids, and held a gun to your head and told you that you have to ingest one of these bottles or I am going to blow your brains out, you'd better damn well take the steroids, which will give you an upset stomach. The other…

This is essentially the logic of the fevered Internet commenter, by which someone writing about racism in sports is the real racist because by definition only racists ever see race as a story.