Fared better than that poor kid Nationwide killed.

I foresee a lot of this:

Honestly, I could give two shits about sports in general, but over the last year Deadspin has become one of my must-reads for all the other random stuff, and the obscene amount of smart-assedness. ha ha

Brainstorm inspired by Tommy Craggs unless it makes money, then I will sue: A commenting system that permits comments under the headline for those who simply want to skim by only reading the headlines. A community of headline readers to compete with twitter and facebook

Amen. Seconded.

Leave it to a creationist to start making shit up.

This is a football school. They all lie about degrees.

Doesn't he still make racist and rape jokes all the time though? Oh wait he's popular and people like him I guess that means that's okay.

Well, now we know he has what it takes to play on Sunday.

I do crossfit and I couldn't agree with you more. I say gym and this newbie says, "It's called a box!" Whenever I say WOD or box I always want to punch myself.

Why didn't you stop the interview by biting his dick off?

Ditto on KoA. If control over that property could be wrestled away from whomever is squatting over it, a follow-up could be fantastical. Dare I say it, it would probably be amazing even without Schilling.

Haha, well 1.) I worked on the MMO so my work will never be seen, but I too loved the RPG - the whole situation was a terrible shame that our family will most likely never fully get over (my husband and I worked there, so it was a double whammy on the home income loss), but it was an amazing experience that's for sure.

In case any of the victims of the crimes I committed to go to prison are reading this, allow me to apologize and assure you that I am not ignorant of the damage I caused. I've been robbed myself; I know it is scary. You could not have known how unwilling I was to hurt anyone and it pains me to think that I even scared…

He was doing a Cigar signing for his brand launch. He showed up late, was hammered the entire time and was apparently pretty rude to the people he was signing for, bitching that he had to do it while they were with him. He'd been golfing all day so apparently he was also bright red.

My stepdad, for one, is super excited to hear about a Mexican losing his job to a middle-aged white guy.

No, Derek Jeter winning five Gold Gloves allows me to dismiss MLB as a serious sport.

It's more common than you think. Every one of Floyd Mayweather's opponents has punched a dick.

Firefly fans are the fucking worst.

You know why the Pirates have a Heinz bottle on the outfield fence? They're always trying to ketchup. Go Giants!