Looks like someone at the newspaper received a "reminder" call about where their wife works and kids play.

Fuck you ESPN. Fuck you right up the ass.

"Comedy" segments on pregame shows. Most pregame shows are, by themselves, bad. Adding a comedian whose best days are behind him to do a schtick just makes it worse. My Dad DVRing 17 weeks of FOX's NFL Pregame so he can show Frank Caliendo's segments to his friends makes me wish I was an orphan.

My number one sports moment was the US getting crushed—again and as always—in the World Cup. Fuck all the people who changed their profile pictures to flag-colored soccer balls. Fuck all the people who suddenly crawled out of the woodwork to pretend that soccer is relevant.

I hope it's Bud Light Lime.

Meanwhile, the same NFL GMs who will leak concerns about draft prospects' "character issues" under the guise of an "anonymous source" are busy filling sacks with comically-large stacks of money to hand to Suh this offseason.

Yeah, the hypocrisy is staggering. If a professional athlete, actor/actress, or politician made a quarter of the rape and racist comments that he does, people like PH would be down their throat in an instant, demanding they apologize as they nail them to a figurative cross.

Call me Ishmael.

#27 Being Hit By A Car

"It's not a gym, it's a box."

Aren't you supposed to be busy bombing brown people somewhere?

What kind of world do we live in where white people can be assaulted by cops for minor or insignificant offenses? THIS WILL NOT STAND!

1.5 Getting hit by a car.

You can use that headline on your wildly popular sports news website instead. Link, please?

I look forward to this feature running far too long so that it becomes nothing but fake stories. [See also: Drunken Hookup Failure, any story about the Jets.]

After eating out an asshole.

"Look at that little monkey in the picture."

What's the neon coloring in #1?

"Hey, some of us think that beating a child bloody with a stick isn't all that bad."

I can't wait to read the Facebook comments about this.