Weird, Jim Bowden tweeted the same thing a few minutes ago, with "BREAKING."

2 years ago I was in a great job, engaged, and everything was going great.

I'm lonely and alone. What's a good way to meet women, and how much will it cost me per hour?

1.) There are still places where sponsorship patches could be affixed, so clearly Tony Ward Jr. wasn't popular.

Skip to 1:50 if (when) Kinja fucks up the link.

That's at least a 2 game suspension from the Ginger Hammah, because donning a Spiderman mask is just as bad as beating your wife unconscious. #ProtectTheShield

But every time Drew Brees throws a touchdown, a rebuilt house gets its siding.

People are pussies about breastfeeding. Yeah, most of them are uggos, but if you complain, the occasional hottie momma isn't going to whip her milkbag out in the middle of the park on a summer day for you to take cell phone pictures of.

Can you please not link your movie and game reviews? Based on this comment, I don't want to accidentally click and read your writing.

Well, shit, where will I go now to read a thinkpiece about how soccer promotes social justice and clean water initiative, linked from the MLB.com homepage? Hopefully Bleacher Report can pick up the slack.

Whatever, Magary. Everyone knows that a team like the RememberTheTitans, which doesn't have any GLORY BOYS, is the perfect model for NFL success. Verily.

Maybe I'm an old asshole, but is this how people actually send professional emails these days? This reads like it was co-written by a high school freshman and a retarded monkey.

So your argument is that if you're not exceptional, you should just be quiet in the face of injustice and bigotry?

I can't like this enough.

At least he's beyond the "adding x's to the ends" phase of his screenname selection.

Excellent meta comment.

Suddenly, tits!

Wisconsin: The Alabama of the north. What a bunch of racists fat fucks.

Fixed: