Why are all of you 3-4 TP Square people coming out of the woodwork today?! Never in my life have I used that little to wipe. Fucking insane clown show here today!

Also I thought this was gonna be about STYLEZ G WHITE.

Why is Steve Beuerlein featured so prominently in the photo at the top? Wouldn’t it be better to use a picture where Stephen White isn’t a secondary figure and one that doesn’t make me initially think that Steve Beuerlein is being accused of child abuse?

“See? If he hurt himself this bad using whip, I don’t want to see what happens when he tries era+.”

Mark Davis really likes old VCR’s.

This guy is nearly as good as the Classic Marko.

Hat tip to My Dad.

For a minute there Phil Jackson saw “Former Syracuse Star Melo Dies” and got super excited.

Rest in Pizza-Pizza

I’m going to have to ask you to leave now, please. Don’t make a scene.

“Yank Scouser’s Lallana tattoo is both dumb and the dog’s bollocks.”

Never forget.

Eh, it’s still not as stupid looking as his James Milner tat.

Two months ago I was fired from my job for sexually harassing my boss but at a minor league hockey game yesterday I caught a t-shirt from the t-shirt cannon despite being in the nosebleeds. Redemption truly is a long and winding road, but it is rewarding.

Dirk Kuyt is the big fancy dog Tom Brady wishes he could be.

Also still playing (and scoring) in the Eredivisie at age 36. He was fun. Also having flashbacks to so many Scandinavian defenders: Riise! Hyypia! Agger!

I suddenly really miss Dirk Kuyt

Zlatan exists beyond the petty human concept of age. Zlatan is, has been and will be.

No article about Peter Crouch is complete without one of the best goals I’ve ever seen. Goal kick to wondergoal in 3 passes — and the ball never touches the ground.

This was good: