“Non-murdering Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski”

I prefer to think of him as the 21st century Dan Cortese.

Well, we know it’s not beer.

Don’t forget these recent factors in the rivalry:

This rivalry pales in comparison to the one between Skyline chili and people’s buttholes.

As a Bengals fan, it’s nice to know with the Dalton injury I don’t even have to pretend to be optimistic at winning a playoff game.

I don’t think this is about two teams disliking each other. It’s about one of the teams having two of the most unsavory characters in the NFL on its roster. Burfict is a psycho and Jones... Jesus, where to begin?

This is bad news for the National Football League. They should seperate these teams by moving their division and possibly even conferences ASAP. The last thing the NFL wants is any violence IMO

Pac-Man’s got a chip on his shoulder and a bracelet around his ankle.

I’m looking forward to this matchup in the second or third round of the playoffs.

The football gods chortled, indeed.

They figure most UFC fans don’t read anyway.

Robert obviously confused defense with defenestrate.

You lost the moment you trusted a ginger. Unless that ginger is the Wendy’s girl. I’d trust her with my lunch time options, and my heart.

If Jason Heyward is worth $185 million over 8 years, the U.S. Mint is going to have to introduce a new coin with Mike Trout’s face on one side and Bryce Harper’s on the other.

Signing Heyward may be the move of the year, if only because it’s driving Cardinals fans fucking insane.

Meanwhile, Jed’s doing exactly what he wants.

Not sure if this counts, but I lived in Seattle working retail for two years, and wasn’t making enough to afford a plane ticket home. So for Christmas, I made plans for some friends to come to my place so we could all commiserate. I made dinner, this unnecessarily complex version of eggplant parm that calls for…

goddamn it murry cant you fucking read

Plus: Fuck the Grateful Dead and everything they ever stood for or inspired.