I disagree with the Mets lifestyle.

MORE VLAD PLEASE

Nice subtitle length, is this a Fiona Apple album?

I'm sure the stats goons will find a thousand ways to prove me wrong, but there were a couple of years there where Vlad Guerrero was the best player in baseball.

"Its cool to talk about me all day any day I find with that, I can take a joke .. That what I do joke, but I didn't see the point of that."

I think he just ethered the English language

This piece is not just a snapshot of a driven man. It is a relic from the pre-Magic-Johnson-Larry-Bird NBA, a league of cocaine-tooting players and polyester-clad coaches who, unlike the Zen masters who stride today's sidelines coddling stars, routinely dressed down their charges. It's hard to imagine a coach going…

"Like, generations of Azaleas' souls will be burning from this one."

Yeah, this dildo with your grandma's sweater/scarf combo and a little kid's toy basket and the duel pirate earrings is really held back by the fact that he looks like a hairless cat caught in a fraggle's wig. that's the ticket.

I like to think I get an attractiveness bump from my premature (male age 31) gray hair. It's the same, right? RIGHT?

That's all well and good but what is San Jose's excuse?

I would have expected him to be wearing a Red Sox cap, what with everyone getting B-headed.

Pascal Dupuis, on getting the shocking news that he had a blood clot in his lung. And then, 11 months later, a second one.

Baked stuffed shrimp for 8 bucks! That is cheap. And 2.75 for crab cakes...must have been all claw!

I, for one, welcome our new Guzan overlord.

from the Giant by her house

That poop story is the Empire Strikes Back of poop stories.

"If you could have one person wipe your arse for the rest of your life, who would it be, and why?"