you have no soul and also your feet probably constantly stink

Stevens: Whoa, that thing looks really beat up. You sure about this?

Man it must be hard to drive a van when you're drunk AND you're not allowed to use your hands.

Ridged chips can be dipped into sour cream and onion dip, and anything else, ergo it is superior to Sour Cream and Onion Chips. It's science.

Hold on Barry, you actually expect me to believe that the NFL knew about a problem and failed to act on it?

It was shirts v. skins, man. How else are you going to remember teams?

The 1929 stock market watched the end of the game and was like, "Now that was a fucking collapse."

Brandon Bostick Wasn't Supposed to...Catch That Onside Kick

I think the most important factor of determining if you are a beer asshole is how you interact with people who are not enthusiasts. Don't shit on other people's preferences, and never turn your nose up at a host's beer selection. You can try to educate, but the moment you start turning down free beer you are an…

Allen Purrns

Pussy Umenyiora?

Same guy probably cuts the sleeves of Bill's hoodies.

He's not taking anything from Roy Hodgson, though.

I'm talking about the civil case, clearly.

Like, why the fuck would she leave her couch there?

What a piece of shit. I hope she sues him and takes everything including the Photoshopped shirt off his back.

He seems like a really sociedadable guy.

The funny thing is, if the goalie hadn't touched the ball with his hand before it going in the net, I still wouldn't have given a shit about this.

I read it like this:

He probably miss spoke and meant to say Russia and not Qatar. As in, the site of the 2018 World Cup