My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

I’ll remember how he spent tens of thousands of dollars of his own money every year to buy toys for Houston kids in the foster care system, because that’s the kind of man he is. And I’ll also remember that his greatness shouldn’t be overshadowed by the shittiness of the teams he played on.

It’s easy to confuse “style” with “identity” when it comes to hip hop. “Identity” describes what something is. The themes and lyrics and music – all the small, specific details – are identities. “Gangster” is an identity. “Uptempo” is an identity. Take them in aggregate and an album gets an identity – i.e., 3 Feet…

I love how hamilton’s idea of a perfect world (dense shit hole apartments with no space) should be everyone’s idea. God forbid you want to work in the city AND have a yard. Please tell us about how refridgerators are terrible (because you can’t fit one in your shit box in NY)

why do these people take so much pride in having the best mall food

For the record, They don’t like being called “horse people”. Centaur is the preferred nomenclature.

Leading Red Gives Message to America’s Children: “Get Cancer”

It's no wonder he was overwhelmed. That was easily the largest group of Hawks fans he’s ever been in front of.

Couldn’t agree more. It’s like, if Bud Lite wants to sponsor a pickup truck race from Florida to Oklahoma called “The Trail of Beers,” who are we to stop them? We are no one, that’s who we are. Think about it.

Taking offense is like building a fence—you have to do it all alone and it takes a lot of time, and the things you think are nails are actually slender dog turds, and you pick them up and you get slender turd on your hands and then who’s gonna give you a kiss at the supermarket? Not Hannah, the twenty-something bag…

“No talking about the Wizards. Don’t do it! I’m watching your ass.”

“My password is unbreakable. It’s the name of my favorite player and his career slugging percentage.”

Smith is most certainly a garbage NBA player at this point. But by some bizarre stroke of luck or AAU familiarity, he actually ran a really nice high-low game with Howard last year. Whether that was random chance, who knows, but if any team can unlock a little playmaking from him, it’s Houston.

What they don’t mention is that the opposing teams all recently pulled their first strings.

I will miss the way you never really liked anything, and used too many words to say so.

“Your greatest weakness is a rock.”

“Pigs flying airplanes” gets over a million hits, but that doesn't make it a good idea.

But he’s such a great leader he makes everyone around him slower.

Wait, you had to choose between being a partner at a law firm and contributing to Deadspin?

why, too many black people?