We can’t figure out some double entendre word to bypass? Check out my new “Greenery” app... i sell “grass” and only “grass”. You are only allowed to plant this “grass”

“The last time I ate a for-real hamburger, just because I wanted to remember what they tasted like, I spent all night stomach-cramping my way to the toilet and back.”

It must suck when you meet a real person and they are legit on their profile... and you’re like.. “aww... you’re .. you... nevermind”

Guess who’s opinion doesn’t matter in abortion? ... Your streaming TV service!

Hah.. corded mouse.. retro is cute.

Signed up for the Simple Choice Family plan right before this whole “One” thing.. you just can’t beat it. $120 for 4/lines. Unlimited everything + 10GB hotspot per line. They tried upgrading me to One a while back and I was like are you nuts? $10 more and no hotspot but you give me basic netflix? pass! Plus I can add…

I think it’s a good first step.. there may be some work to do on false positives but if it matches potential suspects.. then allows police to at least look into it further (but not assume right away it is cold, hard evidence).. then we need more of it.

This would do wonders for old playboys

Truth. This is my mom’s go-to and it is ALWAYS a hit.

Guy Ritchie made this? Where’s the random british killing humor? Did Boris the Bullet Dodger get a cameo? Vinnie Jones?

Apparently lying to your reader base is also cool.

Apparently lying to your reader base is also cool.

Stop making RFID blocking wallets! RFID never took off.. there are no skimmers out there trying to scan your keycard to get into your office... there may be some.. but not all wallets should be made RFID Blocked.. Nothing more annoying than having to take my keycard out of my wallet to get into my office when I used…

Stop making RFID blocking wallets! RFID never took off.. there are no skimmers out there trying to scan your keycard…

you think it’s that high?

“professional calibration costs $500.”

You should be facing down stairs with your body lower than your feet to get some good incline pushups

Exactly. Toilet water is valuable drinking water.

Gatorade is for Gators... what are you thinking? Alligators need their electrolytes

Yep! I bet over half of the petitioners don’t even watch GoT.

We’d like to put you there based on your enjoyment of it.

Alf! Still the biggest NBC guffaw. “Hey guys, we’ll give you a 5th season to wrap it all up..... sike!”