It wasn’t me, it was that oher guy!

I actually hate the ice cream truck in my town, because it drives down my street full speed, playing the damn song, without stopping. I don’t know where it does stop, but ain’t anywhere near my house. So I’m stuck with Pavlovian desire for ice cream, and I can’t buy it.

That’s because his mom is Sandra Bullock.

Where I live, developers re-devloped an area next to the river and sold condos and overpriced apartments to rich idiots. Know what else it was next to, and the reason the place used to be where the SROs and really, really horrible, cheap apartments was? It was also right next to the train station. As in, less than a…

You could say the driver was blindsided

an “impeccable man.”

Sure, but that’s how it always goes, isn’t it?

He was quiet, polite, charming even. We had no idea that he’s been living off Fricasee au euro-backpacker for the last 20 years.

One step closer:

I have a Fiat Spider, so this make sense to me. 60's Italian build quality with 70's bumpers and 80's fuel injection.

Pranksters have to be near the top of the list of complete shitheels, right? And when they’re both a prankster and a social media personality, my god... And his please-punch-me face!

FFWD to 2045: “I really think today, in our time of crisis, is the day where Josh Paul transitioned from Candidate Paul to President Paul.”

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

How about a mid-engined van?

“No one will be looking at you.”

Silver is the woooooorst color ever unless its a pretty car with black accents. The reason its so popular though is because you can not wash it for like...a year....and its still looks spotless.

That car is ugly and sounds terrible.

This works.

Pshhh. Amateur. It took HOURS of washing the next day.