Once legalization of marijuana took hold, many pined for a Cheeto.

Why has our country not started discussing the possibility of a buyout?

She put her hands on him first.

I can buy weed at 11pm on a Sunday up the street from my house, but I can’t get a 3.2 bud light at the gas station in Arkansas. It’s like they WANT you to know just how much it sucks.

It’s the mug shot of comedian Ron White.

Something like this...

Dane Cook? In the top 5 of all time?

There is soapy water in my super-soaker to wash the goddamn lies spouting from your keyboard.

Dane Fucking Cook, my ass.

From word salad to Tater Salad, but with a major emphasis on all-things White.

Hilfiger a way back.

SMAC without the K?

Ironic since A-Rod seemed to embrace the K.

Channeling SONY Liston?

Lancaster Bible College’s sublime second half rally to win showed they are well qualified to represent the LBC.

Bennett was a big dude, very stout.

And we all know stout kicks the ass of a shitty Porter every time.

Quoth the Raven, nevermore.

Kill was irate the new HC would be Dauber from rival Minnesota State.

Oddly Kill went on to say that Dauber wasn’t even Sponge-worthy.

Levitating ensures Allen won’t have any more on-court tripping issues...

If he’s the Original Six shouldn’t he be a Habs fan?

While The Bachelor has often played Puritan to the point of ridiculousness...

Bullshit. I once saw the skinny twat eat a big handful of strawberries at Kroger.

The whole post is gold, but this, this shit right here...I’m actually a little dizzy trying to relate to whoever submitted this gem.