Oh ho, shut it down immediately. My five year old stomped her foot at me today while asking for cake. Then she saw my face and apologised and ate an apple. Because I'M THE MOMMA.

Oh, my Aunt took a store bought pie to a book club and copped flak. She turned around and said "hell no I didn't bake it, I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO."
I guess being a kick arse research scientist who does insane bird watching hikes in her spare time occasionally precludes being chained to the stove. She CAN bake,…

She walked up nice and close and showed her dental work, with a very low growl. If he hadn't left immediately he would have been bitten.

A dodgy man came sniffing round our two-women-four-toddler campsite right on dusk, asking pointed questions about the location of our husbands. My dog strolled round the corner of the tent, took one look at the guy, and bid him a firm good evening. My machete, my dog, and I all slept just fine. ;)

We adopted a lovely dog from a shelter, she is quite literally the perfect dog. Beautifully mannered, obedient, no trouble at all. It's been a year now, so we're getting more confident of keeping her, but we were sure someone would claim such a great dog back!

Really? That's horrible. We've a few trans serving members down here in Aus.

I was sitting with my mate at the bar, chatting about his new girlfriend, and a mutual aquaintence thought it might be a good idea to sling a few derogatory comments about the new girl's old partners, and called her the "village bike".

I had a childhood friend called Muffy, who wore her hair in pink fluffy banded pigtails. She was also a national level kick boxer.

I steal my three year olds nose regularly. She is well and truly sick of my shit. "Oh Muuuuuuuuuum, just give it back already!"
In other words:

Driving through Afghanistan in an armoured vehicle. We'd eaten at a local meeting for lunch, and the food was prepared in the most unhygienic of conditions, but it was necessary to be polite so we ate up. By the time we were halfway home, the whole crew had the runs, but there was no way we were pulling over. We had…

This just makes me awfully happy that when my five year old was asked if she wanted to go the religious club at school, she politely said "oh, actually that's not for me, my family just believes in science."

Is she cheekily lifting her skirt to show leg at the end of the runway? Hot damn, go girl!

Motivation is a bit of a crock. It's never going to be there when you need it - that rainy, cold morning, or that time the game of thrones marathon is competing with your exercise time. You've got to make exercise a routine. I don't wake up in the morning and think "oh hell yeah! I'm gonna brush my teeth! I'm so…

PTSD? Seriously?

We met at military college ten years ago. I was a better shot than him, but we were well matched in tactical ability and fitness. We had the same sense of humour and all the same friends. He had pretty blue eyes and a electric smile, and I kept catching his eye across the tutorial table, but I was already dating…

I completely concur! The only way you can tell I'm working hard is the tiny yak mating call I inadvertently let out as I start to push up from a squat. The rest of the time? nada.

My grandmother picked up a silver fox at her retirement village. He was absolutely dashing, as well as kind and charming and handsome and witty and a doctor. GO GRANDMA! She met him at the computer club, and taught him how to email his grandkids, and that was it - love and "companionship" for the next ten years. They…

I had an accidental threesome in a plane. I was about sixteen, and the older couple next to me in the three-across seats were under a blanket and really enthusiastically enjoying each other. There was far too much sound and smell for my delicate sensibilities, I spent most of the flight leaning as far into the aisle…

I balance Jezebel with an Australian blog written by a grandma, who writes about pride in the simple life, home making and chickens. It always brings me back to earth! (Actually, it's called Down—to—Earth. It's the biggest blog in Australia)

I never ever considered that facet of the job. Wow. Even more respect for how hard you guys work for your money now!