I skipped breakfast this morning because I was running late... but here's AJ making sausage for everybody.

I generally don't eat frozen dinners... and now I may never eat tuna casserole again.

Needs more of Teri Hatcher's real and magnificent breasts.

I haven't seen anybody get that upset about cornbread since Wilford & Earl.

Great. Now I'm not going to be able to wear my new blue bandana.

Canadians can send a Lego man into outer space, but they still can't make proper bacon.

This reminds of the time I got kicked out of Spago for indecent exposure.

+1 climb on a mountain and turn around

I'm happy that the X3 didn't make the list... despite the fact that the local ski lodge's parking lot is filled with them.

The real question is, did the Kia have snow tires or all-seasons?

Pictured: West Virginia's hottest singles community.

I'd like to sign another petition that makes the OBD-II codes more specific. My car once threw a code and the list of possible causes in the repair manual consisted of 15 different things. Fortunately, I guessed correctly and replaced the MAF sensor.

Contracting a string, tackling an unwanted bug, and leaving the game is also known as the Magic Johnson hat trick.

The cabbie caught a bad break, but it still beats driving a car for Lenny Dykstra.

Three condoms, two packages of chocolate pudding, a bottle of honey... and a stick of butter.

Meanwhile, the President of Tesla Motors just watched this video and started to weep uncontrollably.

This is great. Now can you please explain why we're forced to hear "Cotton Eye Joe" at every sporting event?

As Wiz Khalifa would say, "No keys. Push to start."

Definitely check craigslist and auto forums for a set of used wheels. Mine have paid for themselves in 2 season for what it used to cost me to have the snow and summer tires re-mounted every year.

I thought "batin' on the bench" is what they called the troll pieces on Bleacher Report.