The Hyundai Turbo Veloster. I loved the design of the base model when I checked it out at an auto show. I waited months for the turbo version to hit dealers. I test drove it as soon as a local dealer got one in, and immediately bought a different car. Bad steering, no power, and a funky feeling transmission. I hated…

Needs more purple prose.

You seemingly got more respect at the drag strip with a Hummer than you did with a Ferrari. Sounds about right.

Also, I now realize that wasn’t your post. Huh. What was it you said you did around here?

That’s it! So Stupid. So perfect. So Deadspin.

Will, you once posted a silly story about trout that figured out how to escape from a trout hatchery. The comment section quickly devolved into one of the greatest Shawshank Redemption quote collections ever assembled. It was one of my favorite things ever posted on Deadspin and with this dang fangled kinja, I can’t…

I don’t understand why, but this seems like a fairly typical reaction from anybody I know who is a professional mechanic. They never seem to give a crap about any car that’s fancy, rare, exotic, or remotely fun. Every mechanic I know drives some 15 year old boring-ass Ford Taurus or OldsmoBuick that they bought off a…

I do some detailing on the side and I can’t tell you the amount of people that try to tell me you don’t need to use actual car wash. “This here Simple Green does just fine!”

One thing to keep in mind, depending on your local tax laws your trade in value against the new car you are purchasing may reduce the amount of sales tax dollars you owe. For instance, if the car you’re buying costs 20k and the dealer gives you 5k for your old car, you are only on the hook for sales tax on the $15k…

If you park this on my street, I will leave a note on the windshield saying how awesome it is and how it improves street visibility.

This list is so bad that I intend to wear it on Chopped someday.

Who on earth would want to steal a Prius? Did he leave a delicious sandwich in the front seat?

The Mazda 323 GTX is a true unicorn. If you see one of those these days, it is either a museum piece or hooned within a mile of it's life.

This makes me happy. I can't wait until the rednecks at the drag strip see this pull into the pits.

I once had a Saab 9-5 as a loaner car from a repair shop for a day. (Apparently they acquired it when a previous customer just abandoned it at the shop after the repairs were done).

Shitbarf Guy isn't a first ballot HOF'er. He's clearly a #2.

I would add one small but important step. While you have the caliper off, take the time to clean and lubricate the caliper slides. It's especially important if you drive your car in the winter in an area with snow and salt. Those pins can easily corrode, seize, and damage a caliper. Replace the pins if they're worn…

Somebody please tell me that one of these guys is Rob Iracane.

I love how as the cost of the restoration increases, the quality of his beer decreases. You have to cut corners somewhere. I don't blame him... I'd rather drink Busch Lite and have a nice Bug too.

I think these costumes appear to be photoshopped?