Pictured: The image inside Gregg Easterbrook's head anytime he hears someone order a "dark lager".

Her grammar and spelling are impeccable for a Russian immigrant.

It's obvious that Will still feels a little guilty about that cookie sheet incident.

I'm not exactly sure what you did here, but they're already building a stadium for it in Alabama.

Cocaine, Suicide, Women, And Guns

I bought my dad a scratch-off lottery ticket this Christmas and he won $1000. That's the most I've ever seen anybody win from one of those things.

Excellent point.... change made. :)

I'd enter a Maybach 62.

If you wanted your daughters to be actual Packers fans, you should have just bought them four pounds of bacon and a recliner.

Barry...

My fantasy football teams could not have shit the bed any harder this weekend. Glad they saved it for the playoffs. Now I know what it's like to coach the Jets.

My vote is based purely on the size of the nominee's mandibles.

You forgot "smells like grapes or bacon".

Is new Russian TV show called "Hazzard of Dukes".

When did they start putting V-TECS in Lambos?

Check? A check? You didn't tell me you'd take a check! Here... let me just pay off the whole thing!

This wouldn't have happened if he spoke French!

I can't wait until next Christmas when Deadspin publishes the Point/Counterpoint between Heat Miser and Snow Miser.

This is a really fantastic read. The Malkin profile is a must read as well.

I once dated a woman whose favorite Christmas song was "Christmas Shoes".