Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

The truly amazing part of this story is that it took a teenage boy more than four strokes to finish.

In Memphis, we can’t even build a snowman

Chris Long seems like a pretty good dude.

Scherbo was the most decorated athlete at the 1992 Olympics.

It seems weird to set up child support laws to incentivize divorce for rich parents.  

...and it’s former 28-year-old rookie Brandon Weeden...

So race targeting by police is worldwide?

So I guess they blur out any guys scoring over there, huh?

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

Don’t forget, after getting drilled in the head with a Betances fastball, James McCann put one into the bleachers off the face of a Yankees’ fan.

There is no “Draft” to dodge. Except the NFL Draft. And these fools got drafted by the Browns. The BROWNS. It’s like the Afghanistan of NFL teams.

Fortunately he missed Dee’s nuts

Racism? At an Indians game?

“That’s not an all-white rule...”

(hitter smacks a deep one to right center, stands and admires the shot)

Why is there a toad sitting next to Louie CK?

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

The last time someone conquered El Capitan by soloing, Toni Tennille got the silent treatment during the limo ride back to the hotel.