The worst part of staying over after a meh hookup is if they decide they feel frisky in the morning and want to kiss you. HELL NO I AM NOT KISSING YOUR STANKY MORNING MOUTH I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. It should be noted I don’t feel this way about morning genitals. The reason why is a mystery.

I’d like to think of this more like Contagion. That way we can blame the downfall of the world (or sweet, sweet burritos) on Gwyneth Paltrow.

Also, I like what you did with the links there at the end.

“A time for many people to reflect on the contributions, sacrifices and progress made by men in society.” = literally all of recorded history.

I am the anti-Kardashian but if another fool on my Facebook feed uses situations like this to make transgender jokes I am going to lose my shit and have to defend a Kardashian. SEE WHAT YOU HAVE MADE ME DO??

Courtney Stodden feeling she needs to do something absurd to demonstrate absurdity other than exist is the definition of superfluous.

I cannot in good conscience star a picture of the only face more punchable than Ted Cruz, but I support your sentiment.

There’s a fire starting in his heart

Has anyone ever (ACCIDENTALLY) had this happen with a relative (BY ACCIDENT) and never forgotten the shame and horror of turning your head at the wrong moment and kissing your gross uncle on the mouth (OH MY GOD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT).

The Devil Wears Lululemon? Miranda Priestly approves of this service. Although that smiling girl is fired for talking to the media.

That cape! The bicycle! *swoons away*

Anna! My in-my-head best friend! I will not buy expensive things because you tell me to because I am a grownup. I may however consider buying them because I love you so and they look amazing on you and I want to look like/be you. Well played, Kate Spade. Dammit.

I am going to pretend that he is watching Taylor Swift's latest video and crying inside that his cousin dated her and he's stuck with this. Carry on.

What is it going to take for the "she was asking for it" school of idiocy to GO THE FUCK AWAY.

The problem is I know nothing about baseball! I would feel fraudulent. I thought about getting a college football jersey but then there are issues of exploitation of student athletes by the NCAA, cultures of violence... :-/ sometimes I miss knowing nothing.

I've been the same thing for Halloween every year since college: put on a nice comfy football jersey, black stretchy pants and sneakers, draw on some greasepaint cheek stripes with eyeliner and BAM I'm a football player. Now that the NFL has degenerated to its current state (or we just know more about it), even that…

Am I the only one who can't forgive Jim Carrey for being a jackass about vaccines and autism during his Jenny McCarthy era? Blech.