I took my talents to your mom's house last night.

The Washington Seahawks do not exist.

[imagines stuffing six singles into a vending machine]

Go fuck yourself.

Other reasons why Aaron is kept separate from the other inmates:

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

Player: JESUS CHRIST!

Anyone who spends 10.3 hours per week masturbating may need some professional help.

I'll just say what everyone is thinking: "What if Ray Lewis was white?"

You want thirst for the game? The entire Blue Jays pitching staff spends their off days at Blue Jays games.