Long time, no see! Nice to see you again!

How about a compromise?

As a Canadian, I can only apologize so many times.

I’ll summarize this article.

Wax the windows! Helps in the rain and snow.

I’ll bet it won’t be made of cotton! :)

Must be Beelzebug.

Great minds, indeed!

That’s more of a Sipster.

The entire plot could be “Charlie Sheen flicks a cigarette butt out the window and refuses to be pulled over”.

A thesaurus is actually what would be helpful.

Jezebel is that way ->

No, you’re not the only one noticing the pre-existing wang in those shorts.

Used the wrong phone.

“What, you think you’re better than me? Fuckin’ robot with your computer brain and shit. Take THAT! And THAT! Who’s cryin’ now, huh? BOOP, BEEP, BOOP, BEEP. FUCK YOU!”

Clearly it was appalled by your taste in music.

If the Ex is a woman, then I think it’s very likely #5,6,7 and #8 would make her thankful she’s not dating him anymore.

Come on, Ford GT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It would have to have solar powered cooling system to be sure!

"Did you hear the speech from the first guy to walk on the Sun?"