«Perhaps this is why white people’s chicken tastes like an Excel spreadsheet. Maybe they consider oxygen an “unsalted seasoning.” I’ve read, perhaps it was in the New Yorker, that “happiness is the spice of life.” Maybe wypipo season their chicken with joy.tastes like an Excel spreadsheet. Maybe they consider oxygen…

I would be the kind of racist who pats myself on the back for congratulating well spoken caucasian americans on their vocabulary.

“chicken tasted like a piece of whole-wheat toast covered with a thin layer of Pantene shampoo and conditioner.”

My initial bracket was chalky but then i went back and really looked at the analytics.

Iremember she “jaywalked” like so many other joggers do. And people were still defending the actions of the officers.

Art Acevedo used to be the chief in Austin and while he was there, cops tackled a jogging woman to the ground for not hearing them stop her because she had headphones on. His response was basically that she was lucky the cops didn’t rape her. He’s shit.

Our middle school had a rule that kids couldn’t wear sweat pants (it was the late ‘80s), and 7th grade me thought it was so stupid. I asked my Dad, who was a principal at an elementary school, why, and he just looked at me and said, “Boners.” There has never been a more obvious answer to a question.

This take is irredeemably bad. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Better.

He voluntarily handed in his Black Card decades ago, a la “I’m not Black, I’m OJ.”

There are so many old white guys who own sports teams that I get confused. Is this the “probably an old-timey racist” white sports owner or the “extorts cities for stadiums” white sports owner or the “thinks he’s the face of the league, but everyone secretly hates” white sports owner or the “shady AF financial…

I wonder if they ever got Olympic fencer Daryl Homer to rank things?

Curt Schilling- Dilfer is who Trumpkins aspire to be Schilling is who they really are

Is there a more stereotypical Trumpkin than Trent Dilfer? A mediocre white guy with a head like a penis, from a redneck hellhole, owes his career to the work of others (disproportionately non-white)...

In that moment, Altuve was thinking to himself, “I wish the Dodgers had won.”

For now, it’s fun to think of his goal-minded “iron sharpening iron” antagonism of Russell Westbrook turning over fully to competitive hostility.

“... principal Andrew Jackson...”

“But he speaks his mind and pisses of the libtards”

Obviously Reid has a complicated mac and cheese recipe. He’s struggled for years with the two-minute recipe.

When did Trump’s wife and Trump’s breeder attend a Sicilian funeral?