You think he can hold a spoon with those tiny hands?

If you wipe your ass with it, shouldn’t it be all Emily Dickinson?

I don’t know man...he’s probably not too fond of whistle blowers lately

Julian Edelman knows the tip drill

I have no fucking clue what you’ve done here but I support it.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

I knew some guys in the 101st Airborne when Petraeus was the two-star division commander.

Attention world:

Now you’ve pissed off Jets fans. That’s a dozen people that just put you on their shit list.

Jerry: Who taught you how to do this stuff?!

Joe Paterno’s son is already denying he knew anything about this.

Nah. I don’t think teammates would shade each other. Maybe Martellus would, but not likely.

Not a good look for those that ARE going meow.

I’ve watched this dunk about 30-40 times today, no joke, and all I can keep thinking is, “Grayson Allen is really going to love tripping this kid.”

That look on JoePa’s face, though, when he was in the hospital the next day, and one of his assistants came and told him “Coach, I’ve prayed on it and talked it over with my family and I wanted to let you know...there was a dude yesterday headed right toward you. Big dude, too....”

Here’s your 400th star you magnificent bastard.

For you...so savage...so good.

“Fuck that kid.”

I have but one start to give, so you also get a GIF to show my appreciation for that joke.