I was assuming that these surprise weddings tended to be very small and casual, without attendants or fancy dinners. Though of course you can do that without the surprise.

It worked for these two. Now that I think of it, all three of Parks and Rec's weddings were sort of ambush affairs.

This is what I tell people. Those who go on and on about how spanking taught them not to do something again or whatever, it's like "Oh. You were only spanked once?" "Well, no." "Okay. So it wasn't a silver bullet to curb negative behavior."

Hi, my major is in Early Childhood development (with a concentration on Elementary and Adolescence), and I'm just going to say it: spanking is bullshit. You know why it's obviously bullshit? Because you have to keep doing it. If your kid keeps getting his or herself into trouble constantly and you keep hitting…

THE WORST!!

Oh geez, #8: "I hope to be able to masturbate again without stopping because I can only see your body and your face."

This reminds me of a guy I broke up with in 1998. Dude still e-mails me occasionally, always saying that I'm the one that got away and can I please send some nude photos. His last request included a…

The worst!

I love - and you know what I mean when I use that word in this context - this part the best

You forgot "And make your bed"

Oh god, I can see it all unfolding. She has a fun fling with her boss, maybe after having a few beers at a music festival...and then all of a sudden he's tagging along at her local pub, introducing her to his kids as their "new mom" and telling her all about how he's leaving his wife who "doesn't understand him."

If you're in your 30s, no matter if you're single, married, divorced, widowed or a catholic priest, you have no business dating or even just banging someone who you'd describe as "beginning to become an adult."

"it truly made your day better."

That's so grossly paternal. eeyuck.

3. Continue to make your bed. I know you did it for me, but it truly made your day better.

To The Husband Who Left Me For His Intern

Condescending as fuck.

But, I posit, this IS average. It simply isn't average for the modeling world. Which is why the modeling world isn't for the remainder of the world— it's for selling a false idea of perfection to the impressionable. Sad.

Republicans used to be eager to point out that Lincoln was one of them, and Dems had a history of being bigoty bigots. (Which is true - we used to suck.) Now they don't even want Abe? A'ight. Whatever.

I don't blame J.Law, I blame Dior. When it was announced that she signed on with them I was like NOOOOOOOOOO because we all knew this was coming. Waste. Absolute waste! I like some of Dior's makeup but dat clothing! Stuffy, weird, the two don't fit each other.

What's wrong with playing an asshole version of yourself? Stephen Colbert does it every day. His even shares his real name. Yet, people like Lena, Sarah Silverman and Amy Schumer get blasted for doing the same thing. It's a big gender gap in comedy.