you just reminded me how much i fucking hate that criticism of zooey deschanel. i agree with her, wearing a peter pan collar doesn't invalidate her feminism, jfc.

That's for when you want to wear a thong out of the house but need a pockets to hold your car keys in.

So when Carly Rae Jepsen and Zooey Deschanel dress kinda demurely, they're infantilizing themselves and therefore Part Of The Problem, but when Miley and Rihanna get nearly-naked, they're objectifying themselves and also Part Of The Problem.

Your phone's backward.

Is...is that a Swingline?

Mike's Hard Lemonade, unofficial beverage of "To catch a Predator"

Jagermeister has a neck tattoo and is a part time roady for the Reverend Horton Heat, you hook up with him whenever hes in town.

Mike's Hard Lemonade has a creepy fixation on much, much younger women.

All of that seems like really, really good advice.

But I have a more, um, rudimentary question:

The mattress — Do I sleep on top of it? Or does it sleep on top of me?

Thanks in advance.

I SHUT THE BEDROOM WINDOW BUT NOW THE RACCOONS ARE UNDER THE BED!

Thank you for sharing that tid-bit. That was crucial information.

Whyyyyyyyyy is Lady Sif not more important...!! Ugh... she is infinitely cooler than Jane.

A-HEM. You're leaving out a very important detail - she's being interviewed by Tom Hiddleston.

Something is missing from the video feed. From where we see the video feed starting it looks to me like a motorcycle cuts off the Range Rover and Brake checks him. Did the guy on the motorcycle do this on purpose, or was he reacting to something the Range Rover did before that we did not see on video? I am pretty sure…

So you would pull two hit and runs because a pack of bikers were holding you up 5 minutes in your travels.

That's the one. It explains why Kim looks like she fell out of a garbage can every time she leaves her house since they've been dressing her. I call shenanigans!

This is not the smile of a happy person.

Montgomery's Father: Some actor said "I don't agree with your policies" or whatever, and the guy with the top hat said something to the effect that "Well, I'm sorry you disagree but I'm trying to watch a play," or whatever, and then the altercation really broke out.

What kind of moron uses "You have pubic hair" as a putdown?