It wouldn't, actually. Earth would appear roughtly four times as wide as the Moon (as well as the Sun) does in our sky. What you're standing on doesn't make any difference when you're looking at different-sized objects at a fixed distance. It's easy to overestimate the angular size of the Moon, since it attracts…

When you try to put on sunglasses like a human and they just slide off your head because you lack functioning ears, do you just cry and cry?

This. People who don't have kids on one don't get it. They think it's ok if little johhny misses his nap. They think we are crazy for keeping on a strict schedule. They are wrong.

My company has to have every form for network access filled out by hand and faxed over. No email. Fax.

I blame the fact that they're in Germany, and might not have the same laws that allow electronic signatures (The one thing I thank Bill Clinton for).

If they didn't waste their time like that what would they get paid to do all day?

I read faxes all goddamn day. They are scanned in when they get to me to read them, but it's the same people who fill out forms in cursive. Old people are living too long. The fax is still very much alive.

He knows when you've been sleeping,

She's not going to take your balls either way

The worst shit is assuming that a technological singularity would positively affect all of mankind, instead of uplifting just the most affluent, the most wealthy psychopaths to nigh immortal demigodhood. Just try to launch any kind of class mobility when the upper class is fucking SkyNet!

Some Questions About That Auburn-Alabama Game

OK, but is anyone all that surprised? I grew up in Alabama, half from French Creole bayou stock. I know people like this. For some places, this is progressive. I'm not saying it's necessarily acceptable, he should absolutely face consequences because words have consequences. But honestly, something like this was just…

I guess if your from the backwoods bayou and you make your millions in the backwoods bayou, there isn't much reason to expect your politics to get out of the backwoods bayou.

but not as small as your dick

I still remember Matt Bryant's kick from 2006. Its definitely the worst way to lose a game. You convince yourself that because of the distance that your team has it in the bag, but no, some should-be soccer player, steals it away.

Kickers are really the biggest dicks in sports.

Probably a left back or right back (they're small but need to have a strong leg to cross).

he's kind of small...

Seeing how's he's just booting balls deep, probably goalie.

Justin Tucker speaks five languages, has hit 33 field goals in a row, just kept his team's season alive with a game-winning 61 yarder on the road (a career high), hit six field goals in a game (a Raven record), and then congratulated all fantasy teams who own him (as I made the championship with him outscoring Calvin)…

Can we bring in a Deadspin writer to re-do this with actual comedy?

I learned some critical information from my doctor about 6 weeks ago. I'll never forget it. It was always, ... no, no, never, run with the treadmill at 0 degrees incline. He said that you should have at least 2 degrees or more elevation if you are just pounding out a few miles on a treadmill instead of doing the…