It's the group of death, but it also pairs one French team that used to be good against Marseille.

When the news got out that the players were each to receive approximately $150G's, Gregg Easterbrook smiled, spilled Hamburger Helper on his novelty tie and wrote an abortion of an article.

word.

The thing I love about English football (besides Manchester United) is how beautiful a thing the football pyramid is. We could get 11 Deadspin commenters together, run off to Bristol, join the Bristol Downs Fourth Division, and in theory could field a Premier League side 23 years later.

Which would be as absurd as…

And, you know, the fact that I might like to actually attend a match in person. That too.

That's what I don't understand about fans complaining about MLS. Do people watch the D-League over college basketball? Do they watch the CFL over college football? No, so why when it comes to soccer is it suddenly, "I can't watch MLS because it's not as good as other leagues"? As a casual soccer fan, I don't care…

The best part about the Tifo is waiting to see the looks on the players' eyes after you spent so many hours on the tribute. The worst part is not being able to see the players because you're completely covered by the goddamn Tifo.

ESPN2 pulled a 0.3 overnight for the broadcast.

How come Flacco wants to talk shit after Ray Lewis is gone. say it to his face fuck boy

Flacco went on to say, "Yeah, it made no sense. I mean, Jesus Christ? Come on. Nobody believes that unicorn bullshit."

This is blasphemy. If ESPN really was hippo critical, they would have fired Chris Berman years ago.

Assume the President announces that once a weekend, he will randomly detonate one golf course in the United States. There's no possibility of surviving; if you're on the course, you're dead. There are, apparently, roughly 18,000 golf courses in the U.S. What percentage of golfers stop playing?

Why hasn't the person who successfully marketed the wearing of yoga/spandex stretch pants as all season attire received higher recognition, a la a Nobel Peace Prize? This is a gtremendous contribution to humanity, especially if you work in a college town as I do.

Nah, you're probably right.

Whitecaps (MLS) account came over and took a big piss all over the place.

Packer fans like John Kuhn so much that they yell out his surname even when they hand the ball off to a black running back.

OKAY YOU HAVE THOROUGHLY GROKKED MY HEART AND SOUL AND I SURRENDER