Not what I was expecting when I heard the Moody Blues were touring again.

You would think the Diamondbacks would be more willing to release their pythons from the tyranny of sleeves.

Didn’t Paul Pasqualoni get fired for being a shitty coach at UCONN? That’s....not great.

He put them in my hand, and I got a napkin from the bar with the speed of 1000 bolts of lightning. I think he rinsed them off in the bathroom before putting them back in. 

I thought I was the only one who remembered that. Hello, new friend.

more of a draw, if I remember correctly. Kinda started fast and fizzled out when the crowd stepped in.

There wasn’t much I could do.

Sorry, bud. Connecticut.

I used to know this dude, a recovering crack addict, but still for whatever reason, hung out at bars. One night there was a ruckus starting, and he was in the middle of it. Despite his past transgressions, he wasn’t a bad guy and we got along. As I was trying to pull him away, he looked at me, dead in the eye and said…

Holy fuck is “Hard Knocks” going to be awesome this year.

You aren’t taking into consideration the inevitable regression of the Jaguars and their influence on the character.

Not sure on the details, but there is a good chance a Molotov cocktail is involved

What a time to be alive!

Well, Toronto sure did get top end, Majors ready talent from the *checks notes* bursting-at-the-seams-with-skill Mets system.

Toronto asking for top prospects/all-star players for a mid-tier starter is a smokescreen to not trade within the division. They were never going to deal Stroman to the Yankees, unless the package in return was bonkers.

So when he is talking about weak balls, it’s not football related.

Johnny is short for Jaughnuthohn.

Andrew Luck’s calf is going to ride a penny farthing to its pop-up mustache wax shop. 

Juggalos have gone from backyard wrasslin’ to Canadian football now?

You mean, like, an ice cream, or an alcohol serving establishment in the Klondike?