So I’m going to be one of the five thousand people who will diagnose you today, but my wife had the same bloating thing come up in the last few years... Endoscopy, colonoscopy, pill camera, prilosec prescription, etc. She started out going gluten free, and it helped a bit, but when I looked up gluten sensitivity not…

So I had this experience going to a Maplethorpe/Warhol exhibit with my 9-year-old son. It was mostly about presentations of gender, which both of us were really into, but there was one relatively graphic S&M photo thrown in... whip inserted into somebody’s tushy hole, so he looked like a cat.

I wish I could give this more than one star because I want everyone to call him Jason Sudoku.

Anchovies are acidic. I learned this from Marcella Hazan. I’ve used them in deviled eggs and enjoyed the result, but I was alone in that opinion. :(.

Between Trump and Bernie, I was wondering what the appeal of old men shouting laundry lists was for a substantial portion of the electorate. I fell asleep during both of them.

I have a VERY minor experience with this. My wife was a rabbi in a small town, and a local reporter was interviewing me about being “an involved dad” for a Father’s Day feature. I work full-time, but I’ve got a lot of flexibility, so I do all the cooking, kitchen clean up, laundry, grocery shopping, kid schlepping,…

You think it was more effective than hearing your dad yell about the evils of market capitalism when the rabbi (your mom) asks an innocent question after the sermon last Friday night? Asking for a friend (who also happens to be me).

I also put chunks of sea salt on my challah after the egg wash. It’s a real hit with my kids and at shul. It means that you really need to slice and freeze the leftovers because the salt on top collects some unseemly moisture if it’s bagged unfrozen, but I find that freezing bread when it’s pretty fresh and then…

This is too late, but I’ve kneaded in salt at the end, and it’s turned out fine. I’ve kneaded in the fat at the end, and it’s been fine as well. A little gross in the kneading, but the finished product was still fresh baked bread, which everyone loves.

Everyone has one more than they can handle... even people who have no children.

Most vanilla ice cream with vanilla bean actually uses vanilla extract and adds beans where the vanillin (active ingredient in vanilla like capaicin for spicy or menthol for minty) has been removed. I’m not sure why, but I’m reminded of it whenever I look at the little specs in my Häagen-Dazs. Not really related…

I felt so vindicated when Nino fully proves himself to be a piece of shit. After the second book my wife was like, “Nino seems okay. She really seems to be actualizing herself with him.” And I was like, “Are you serious? That fucker is bad news.” I probably proved the point of the books right by so needing to be right.

So appropriate to take my 8- and 10-year-old kids? They are huge Macbeth fans, especially the younger one who likes ‘em bloody.

Not to be the asshole who tries to fix your problem instead of empathizing, but maybe try getting really good at something... I started doing fitness classes a few years ago, and now I’ve got a new group of friends. I’m super fit, and I can beat the hell out of a heavy bag. My son started walking around saying, “When…

Oy! You are not your thoughts. Just because your mind sometimes goes to “I’m ugly, and nobody wants me” doesn’t mean that it’s true. If you’re not getting the love and support you need from people in your life, please seek out people who will give you what you deserve because everybody deserves that. It’s likely that…

I’m too afraid to look at men (wanna fight?) or women (creeper), so I end up staring at babies and dogs. I’ve got normal seeming kids with me most of the time, so that staring doesn’t come off as weird.

So I don’t know if this is typical of all work places, but my wife is leaving her rabbinic job, and apparently at one of the congregational discussions of what they want in a new rabbi, someone said outright that they should get someone without children at home, so that there will be nothing competing with the…

Another vote for barre here. Good posture will do more for your waistline quickly than diet or exercise will. I’m almost always the only man in the class, which is fine when I’m at home because it’s other middle-aged people. I was in Dallas for work, and it was all 20-something bridal bootcampers. I got some serious…

Ha! Ha! Ha! You can’t fool me. There ain’t no Sanity Clause.

Yeah. I’m with you, but I also find that as I get older, I’m more and more baffled by how people find it less work than dealing with their relationship shit. At least for dudes, it seems like cheating involves a lot of being a creep to find someone to cheat with. If you’re going to engage in ego bruising behavior,…