Great job guys, truly first rate:

Dear Herb,

You’ll notice that the left is not the ones carrying out these deadly attacks, and particularly not against colored people, because you know, leftists aren’t deathly scared of immigrants.

When the news broke it was literally the first question that popped into my head. I assume others were wondering the same thing.

Honestly this guy seems like a piece of shit.

I mean this extremely sincerely, this isn’t an insult: if you don’t think you will ever eat in a restaurant again, you should talk to a therapist. That is not a healthy reaction at all.

100% this. This article is absurd and full of nuclear fear mongering.

Nuclear Fusion Will Not Save Us

Then fucking win in the playoffs?

“What was he thinking?”

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Which would you really rather have when you grow up?

Jesus FC

Two suggested additions: intermission peewee hockey (which I would rank separately from #24, and which imho is a top 10 event) and “jumbotron shows some iteration of the shell game” (which is always bad and yet you cannot take your eyes away from it).

CTRL-F “frisbee dogs”

You do realize that is not what the panel was criticizing. Their comments were about the celebrations, not the score.

That is such a fucking naive thing to say. Deciding who lives and who dies, and who gets birthed out of the gene pool, isn’t decided by “the markets”, you fucking dumbshit.

Shut the fuck up.

So we have a young, non-Canadian player who just beat Canada’s national team for a championship, and is now blowing off the NHL scouting combine to party his way around his home country for a week.