In other news, the sky is chartreuse and grass is orange. I know that is going to sound ridiculous to some people but I don't care because I'm very right. How do I know I'm right? Because I ended that sentence with "I'm very right." So I win and you lose and I'm rubber and you're glue and no takesies backsies times…
He keeps the Arby's franchise, but only because he knows she loves her Big Beef and Cheddar.
def. initially read this as "...Killed By Horse" and i was all "PLOT TWIST!"
THANK YOU FOR EMPLOYING THE HILARIOUS AND AMAZING REBECCA BURT, JEZEBEL. Real talk: she is super funny and a very good person and a great friend. I'm really happy about this.
Does anyone else ever watch the Maru videos and, on the second or third consecutive viewing (shaddup) think, "Good god, that apartment is so beautifully clean?" No? Just living-in-a-mound-of-filth me? 'kay...
Shaving does NOT make hair grow back thicker. That's such an oooold myth, and it's just that - a myth. It's untrue.
This is just gawking at rich people. it's also proof that the tax rates are not high enough.
OMG. My favorite part of the listing:
Office dance party. Same-sex kisses. Self-esteem boosting affirmations. Lots of smiles. Just in case you need a dose…
Hi, sorry to get back to this so late...the thing is, most kids can make their index finger bend, and lock, at the knuckle, so that the index finger is in a 90 degree position- the other knuckle towards the end of the finger stays straight, so the finger is kind of in an "L" position. Thing is, for the most part, only…
Sweet dreams are made of cheese - who am I to dis a Brie?
I don't want to live in a country where a man is condemned for eating a wheel of cheese.
When I was in college and didn't have a cell phone I gave one of my high school friends the number of the congressional livestock committee and told her it was my new cell phone number. Cue her leaving a long rambling drunk message left on their answering machine, and a confused call back from an intern.
I'm laughing because its a tired old joke from two decades ago and whoever created these buttons for the party STILL think its a)relevant, b)fresh, c)funny. Its none of the above.
Interesting. I don't disagree with this, but most of these are about "correcting" women's behaviors in relationships. I think that many women could be more understanding of their male partners and hold fewer grudges, but I see nothing in here about men trying to be more understanding of women. I love my boyfriend to…
"Science" "journalism."