My wife owns a coffee shop. Usually a couple times a week her first words to me, when I pick her up, are “I fucking hate people.”

A cunt punt, so to speak. Or a clam wham, if you will.

I have a couple times. They made the chips and the dip themselves, so it was pretty good. But, yeah, certainly not common.

Few things are more annoying than whiny little turds who won’t eat anything other than nuggets. Maybe the parents that enable them...

Holy shit, that’s me!

It’s the packing peanuts of the food world.

I had a burger with bacon, peanut butter, and strawberry jam. It was quite good!

Jelly on a burger is good. On a pizza? Weird as shit.

In actuality, vodka martinis aren’t a cocktail, but are really liquid bullshit.

What happened with the Mechwarrior Online game?

Those orange barrels are Ohio’s state flower; they pop up every spring!

Well, legally, an otter and a bear can get married in the U.S. now.

Calling Fazoli’s “crappy” is giving it way more credit then it deserves.

Southern Ohio. My brother is a realtor, and he sold a (crappy, but livable) house for $16,000 in our town! He said the commission he got was pitiful.

Holy crap! We bought a 1200 sq foot home for $67,000.

Yes! If your kid has more than one ‘y’ in their name, you’re probably an asshat.

They draw. And draw. And draw. And draw. And draw some more. If someone doesn’t draw well, I don’t know how they’ll tattoo well.

“My buddy just got a tatty gun off the internet, he’ll totally hook you up!”

Part of it is load balancing. When I flew to Andros Island, they weighed my carry on bags, my checked luggage, and myself. Those numbers determined which closet your carry ons went in, and which seat you sat in.

“a bowl of french fries with chocolate syrup drizzled on top”