Culver‘s does this. !

“Right, they’ve said they need it absolutely charred so it doesn’t even resemble meat anymore.”

Oh yes, I was around 300 lbs when that happened. Totally embarrassing!

Drunks.

I assume the Subway lady's husband had a pillory to get to and didn’t want to show up empty handed. That’d be embarrassing.

Same here, a sun damaged plastic chair. I scooted toward the table, but the one leg had caught in the ground so in about 30 seconds I was laying on my back.

On that note: who do I have to axe to get a damn dwarven romance?

Cookie dough is like the veal of baked goods; young, tender, and delicious.

My brother and I had been staying at our grandparents’ house. We’d eaten breakfast and were playing in one of the bedrooms while grandma gardened. My dad comes to pick us up, and sees a plate of food on the counter. Naturally, he thinks that a breakfast plate was set aside for him and scarfs it all down before getting…

Oh man, those lung treats smell like Lucifer’s taint after running a 5k. I can’t imagine popping one in my mouth.

Would this couch look good in a room you’ve never seen?

I love that sort of thing.

*eats German Chocolate Cake*

Try a sour beer.

I’ve had some IPAs I’d have sex with, now that you bring it up.

I like Sweet Baby Jesus, but not enough to go out of my way to order it if other options are around. There are better peanut butter beers out there, like the one from Belching Beaver or Nutcase from Listermann.

I know violence is wrong, etc, etc. But I can’t help but feel that the FBiL would have been well served with a “corrective action” involving an axe handle.

If I were such a huge asshole that my family had to tell people that I had brain damage to explain my behavior, I’d MAYBE think about dialing it back just a bit.

My vegan friend said that vegan cheese is fine, as long as you forget anything and everything about what the real thing is like.

I said the same thing when I heard vegan cheese existed.