I know it’s just going to be the sort of open beta at first, so I’ll reserve judgement until full release, but these guys look like they’re members of the Kingsglaive by default, which is why they can use magic. Canonically, there are plenty of ladies in the Kingsglaive, so there isn’t necessarily any reason why they…

Meteor shards only concern me if this is going to be the introduction to microtransaction-heavy progression. Otherwise, this looks like it could be fun. Hoping they let you make female characters as well.

That’s borderline legal, straddling the realm of “kinda gross,” and ten years too young as of last month.

That’s actually a pretty strong case. Avocado doesn’t have to go with goddamn everything.

The hell are you talking about? My wife and I have lived in our own house for years now, and without kids we’ve traveled around the country, enjoyed family gatherings (with varying degrees of success, admittedly), and had the opportunity to go to Disneyland twice, and once to Australia.

Couple of points:

C’mon, I get that. Who doesn’t? But have you seen the teen pregnancy rate in the US? It’s so easy to do, kids are doing it accidentally with some of the shittiest sex-education in the world, and rearing potentially awful kids as a result of their own inexperience.

Jesus fuck, I was just mocking smug parents, but I didn’t come up with anything halfway as funny as “children are a semi-necessary plague.”

HOW DARE YOU. I’ll have you know that I’m 29 and my Megaman models give me all the self-validation I could ever hope for while my wife waits patiently for her next check so she can continue to act like she loves me in public.

Yeah I dunno where that branch-off was coming from. I was just taking a shot at parents who think they know something everyone else doesn’t. Having kids works for some, and fails miserably for others, such as couples who think kids will fix their relationship.

It was mostly intent to call out the tried-and-true “until you have kids, you can’t understand” mindset. One of my favorite comedic bits was when a woman yelled that in argument to a man with no children. He states, “Sure, but I also don’t have a pilot’s licence. Yet if I see a helicopter wrapped around a telephone…

You got me there. Even pets are just kinda fed sedatives, rather than just being darted before they’re loaded onto planes, but c’mon, it was a long flight with two screeching kids directly behind me... chloroform or something, you know?

Y’know, it’s actually kinda frustrating that some people in the world are filling the planet with screeching little goblins within a month of meeting their similarly irresponsible partners, while people like you would probably be genuinely decent parents and the dice just won’t fucking roll in any compliant way.

I’m not polluting the gene pool with high school mistakes, so I think you might be embellishing a little bit, there.

I was a terrible student and had problems focusing. Otherwise I was a great kid with a boring childhood and lots of books.

Well, it’s not like I’m going to disagree with that...

No sir, Mr. Jones’ Locker is my father.

Not much. How’re things?

The opportunity to raise a kid isn’t a secret fucking club or something, amigo. You’re not special because you’re part of a dynamic duo that executed one of the easiest things we’ve ever been programmed to do: insert pleasure center into other pleasure center, squirt dependent out of one of you some nine months later.…

Truly, this video’s existence shows that we live in the worst timeline.